If 2011 was indeed the last full year that we’d live on Earth, then damn my luck. The last 365 days weren’t exactly the best I’ve experienced collectively, but it did do me some good, at least in the long run. I guess.
This year, I’d be doing things differently. I usually wrap up the year with memorable phases in the last solar revolution, but I don’t think I want to do that now. Instead, let me end 2011 with things I want to say to 11 people who became a memorable part of my year. Consider this like a Postsecret blog, except it’s inverted.
- I’m proud of you. I’ve seen how you’ve grown and can’t be more than happier seeing you grow even further. It was an honor introducing you to different opportunities which you gladly accepted and excelled beyond expected. Granted, there’s still room for improvement, but know that while I may not be that vocal about it, I am really really proud of you.
- I’m sorry. I don’t think this is how we expected things to happen. For us both. At 19 years old, people would be surprised at how clueless we really are, especially at the things that count (aka the things they expect us to be really good at). I didn’t mean for things to happen this way, and I’m sure you didn’t too. I have lots of questions, but maybe it’s better to keep it to myself, even if I believe it’s best if I do get the answers. Nonetheless, I wish you well, and I will never forget all the things we did. I wish you happiness, and for now, I shall walk away, swiftly and quietly.
- It’s not so much that I hate you, but looking back, I think I’m disliking you. You used to be someone I listened to, even if the things you said didn’t make sense. In fact, I could use an argument that listening to you made 2011 one of my worst years in teenage relativity. And I guess it is true. You made me believe in things I had no right to believe in, and it hurts that you enjoy the satisfaction of the results of having that done to me. And while I’m sane enough not to wish you the short end of this stick, know that I don’t really enjoy seeing you anymore.
- This year was a roller coaster ride for all of us. In most ways, I am to blame for the times we were down, and in a similar vein, you were to credit for the times we were high. Perhaps I should apologize, but part of me tells me to just do better with whatever time I have remaining. And yet I don’t think I can. So instead, let me apologize. I’m sorry.
- I love the feeling of us being friends again. Not to say that we unfriended each other in real life, but the feeling of reunited friendship always feels good. Sure, we’re not as close as we once were, but it’s nice to find out you need me at times, and at situations I find it best to be needed. Let’s keep it up, shall we? :)
- I hate your guts. Why can’t you just leave for good? Pretty soon, you’d run out of excuses, and we’d run out of places to go just to avoid you.
- As it usually is with the both of us, 2011 was a climactic year of our love-hate relationship. Climactic, in the sense that the peak of both love and hate were reached in just a matter of 12 months, and even less when you think about it. These oscillations, at least in my point of view, kept us alive in most days when there was really nothing much going on, and I’m glad they occur as regular as they did in the past year. While I can’t promise - and why should i? - to lessen it the next year, I’d definitely do my best to just stay away when the wheel of compatibility hits “hate” the next time around, as always.
- I admire you. You’re one of the bravest persons I know, and my more-often-than-not-masculine self would hide in shame in such power of a woman. I admire you and often, I envy you from not a spatial distance, but from a skill-wise one.
- Thank you for sticking by me until now. I am aware that I may not be the quickest replier, or the best person to contact when you’re facing problems, as I always am busy; but thank you for fighting for me till the very end. I admit that the friendship we have might have been forgotten if not for your efforts, and I thank you for making that one of the saving graces of 2011.
- You never really know how valuable you were this year, because I never got around to telling you. At the very least, you made life interesting, when things that used to interest me didn’t seem to merit anything anymore. Without you knowing it, you opened my door to literally infinite possibilities because I got to accept myself for who I really am, and pretty soon, people started accepting me for who I really am. And in the silence of reason and societal justice, I can only thank you.
- I really don’t know what to say, and how to say it, because I don’t know, it’s the showbiz me talking. It both puzzles and amazes me how I’ve been putting you in high regard for such a time, without a strand of hope in sight. And all that’s about to change, I guess, if it hadn’t already. One thing’s for sure: you make me look forward to 2012.
2011 was a year of bad decisions, rekindled friendships, and feelings of confusion. The last month was a beacon of hope, so much so that I’ve only grown to hate the year in retrospect. But past is past, and the present is here. And I cannot wait for the future. The immediate one, at least.
Goodbye, 2011. Good riddance.
If 2012 is indeed the end of the world, then I’m ready to make the most out of it.