I have to stop doing this. There’s this hopeful romantic side of me that in the eventful scenario that I come out of it unscathed, then the prospect of permanent singlehood may not be so much to be afraid of after all. Excuse me as I barf on my public acknowledgement of the mere consideration of that thought.
Thing is, I bought two tickets to this event that I’ve been planning on seeing since last year (read: not Azkals). And being the Ted Mosby that I claim to be, there is actually no definite person on my plus one. I figured that when the time comes, someone’s bound to take me on this date, right?
Of course, that will never happen. What will probably end up happening is me either sending an SMS brigade to my close friends, or posting a desperate message on my orgs’ Facebook groups, stating the same thing. “Who’s free on <date>? I have an extra ticket for <event>! Discounts available for the best offer!" To be fair, friendly dates that resulted in these acts of despair end up being memorable, largely due to the semi-spontaneity of the whole set up.
To be completely honest, I do have people in mind to bring on this “date.” Quotation marks are necessary since I’ll never admit it to them, in the unlikely chance one of them says yes. And I don’t think I’ll ever challenge this unlikeliness. Just because.
I’m quite positive that I’ll get a no, simply based on the fact that I’ll never give them the opportunity to say yes. I don’t remember ever asking someone out on a date - ever. I get dates when I get close enough to a female of my interest and we decide we want to try a new restaurant, or see this movie, or check if that alley is dark enough. Hell, I even got my Senior Prom date by default, and that’s saying something from a boys-exclusive private high school.
So this is my life, in which I have yet to decide if it’s something I’m proud of or depressed at. That at one point, there seems to be that acceptance in me that there’s something missing, to which I have no courage to find and fight for, but eventually creating stronger ties with the ones who choose to fill in for the missing pieces. What I do realize is that someday, there will be that one person who will consistently bridge the gaps. For all I know, there might be someone already, but she must take note that I’m not willing to meet her even half way. At least not right now.
So to all my close friends and orgmates, remember: discounts available for the best offer.