I am looking at you now, and all I want to do is have you. This is nothing new, except for the fact that I am going to lose you. The funny thing is that it was me who decided to refuse you.
I never thought I would say goodbye. And I never thought it would be a voluntary one. I thought that if I will let go, it would be done forcibly, because I have known myself to be stubborn with the ones I love. So there, I said without saying it, so let me say it for it to be clear: I love you.
But I am leaving you. And it has never been easy to leave what you love - contrary to how seamless it is to love what you leave. One day, when life starts to be comfortable, I will look back and regret. And I’ve never regretted anything in my life. That’s how I know you’re special.
You made sense - a lot of sense. Because in the grand scheme of things, I know that I’ve never wanted to reach the end of life’s journeys. But you were a mountain’s peak worthy to climb to. And I did, only to be led to a higher mountain that I have no choice but to accept the challenge laid out in front of me.
I am a fan of wrestling for all its violence and machismo. But let me share to you words that took me by dramatic surprise when I heard it in its context: “I’m sorry. I love you.”
And there retired one of wrestling’s greatest legends.
While I’m no world’s greatest, I offer you those same five words.
wherethetidestakeme asked: JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJYYYYYYYYYYYYLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEE, what's your bank's security pin lololololol :D
inappropriatesidekick asked: your post-graduation entry makes me want to sit in a corner and hate life. i will just hate you instead.
Um, don’t you hate life and me either way?
Anonymous asked: Name some of the girls you feel lucky to have?
My mom and my sister tops the list of course,
But I don’t think I have to name them. It’s quite a number and I’m afraid I’m going to miss a few if I do.
Holden Caulfield said it best: “Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”
pursuitforthebetter asked: wazzap
KAHmusta KAH, KAH? See what I did there? Hahaha LOL
Anonymous asked: where do you get your inspiration to write?
Highly internal. Not to sound too vain or anything but what inspires me to write all these posts is the fact that I have all these feelings inside and not a lot of friends nearby to console me with them.
I love telling stories but I’m afraid that not a lot of people love hearing them. At least when I write about them here, either people are genuinely interested in what I have to say, or I don’t have to see that they’re not.
I guess it’s all about catharsis. Just a release of the emotions without having to see the judgment that comes with it. After all, teenage boys are not supposed to feel the way I do, right?
Anonymous asked: Greeting Ol' friend! It's been a while since I last saw you back at DB Makati. We haven't talked that much. Still, it's a pleasure seeing some of your tweets, updating me about your current life. What's your plan after college? Best wishes :))
Oohhh super interesting! Can you tell me who you are? I’ve been dying to get back to HS friends recently. :) Give me a ring or something. Feel free to message me anywhere! :)
Anonymous asked: Who do you think you are running around leaving scars
I love this song, and I’d rather be the one to ask the questions from it.
pronunciation | ‘tor-pe (torr-peh)
note | this torpe is Tagalog slang; it also means something like “clumsy” or “awkward” in Spanish. it can apply vice versa as well: a woman who is desperately in love with a man. or any combination of people thereof.
I will miss sitting in one of those lonely huts, feeling as lonely as ever, watching all the people pass by. I will miss being invisible, eying you from where I am. From then, I will write notes about you - letters I never got to send. “Dear you, you have made my day by showing me how beautiful you are today,” one of it said. Someday I’ll have the courage to personally hand to you the shortest of these texts, maybe when they mean nothing anymore.
I will miss walking along the halls, greeting and being greeted by the loudest of people. But I will miss the silent stares and suggestive smiles we have when we see eye-to-eye. I will go to you, have some small talk, and think about that for the rest of my day. Somewhere along the way, I have confused pedestrians with pedestals when it came to you, but at least I know it was in a short amount of time.
I will miss taking that long walk down hill to where we usually meet. I will miss being listened to, or rather forcing people to listen to me. I will miss those long benches where we would both be serious and funny at the same time. To you, I owe a lot of my character, because you have trusted me more than I would ever carry. Though I have lost so many times, I will miss fighting our battles together.
I will miss lingering in your presence. I will miss hating you, loving you, and hating you again. Ours was the definition of a love-hate relationship and I will definitely miss participating in it as much as propagating it. You have been and will be always my greatest heartbreak, because it is not borne of a simple failure, but a failure to try. Thank you for teaching my life’s greatest lessons that only you can teach. I am always in awe.
So much can be said about missing people after graduation. And yet, despite the multitude of personalities so dear to my heart, I only have these to say.